What if • day 28

Friends change over the years. I used to think it was just how the stars lined up, or just how things were supposed to be. I now think you're who you're supposed to be with, when you are supposed to be.

Sounds confusing, but what I'm trying to say is the people who we fulfilled and who fulfilled us in grade school are different from what we need in college or in our adult lives. I think our needs change, therefore our friends change.

I think it's possible to outgrow people and what you once tolerate or make room for in your life-you don't anymore and what you give/get out of friendships also changes like waves. I also think as we grow, God's plans reveal themselves as if they were our own plans.

I think it's fun to notice who we knew in high-school but just weren't that close to and now we carry a friendship with them that is like none other. I knew a girl in high-school and we never hung out- now our friendship is strong and one I lean on everyday.

Oddly enough, she was pregnant when we grew the closest. I was struggling to have a baby and pushed everyone who was in "child-bearing" years far away- except KJ. She was understanding, listened to me go on and on and never got tired of my cant have a baby song. Libby is now two and Kristin is set to give birth any day to baby girl number two.

I'll never be able to share the deep meaning her friendship has meant to my life. She was there when I cried through failed cycles, hoping the next cycle would be a success and on my couch the week I brought home my triplets. She spent the night so we could sleep and was never the friend that said "call me and let me know what I can do-"-she just did it.

We had lunch last week and with both of our busy work schedules- this was a much needed catch up session. She poured out her final thoughts on being pregnant and I offered as much advice on being a mom to more than one kid that I could. She seemed joyful to bring another sweet baby into the world and sad to be saying good-bye to the days of spending all of her time with Libby. Her family would be a family of four in just a week. Say prayers for an easy birth and that baby C makes her entrance sooner, rather than later ;)

So as the days near to the birth of her little girl, I ask myself what if our friendship didn't wait until I needed it most? Kj, I'm so very thankful to have you in my life.... At just the right time.

What if • day 27

I think timing is everything. I've often talked about God's plans for us and I am a real believer in his timing. I think there is a time and a place for everything and every relationship.

I remember making friends in elementary and how those best friend necklaces were the concrete bond that sealed a friendship ;) I remember thinking, shoot I need to make more friends and fast!! It was always funny to me how that played out. He had plans for me... But they were plans to meet wonderful people along the way. Timing.

This past week I went to a memorial service for a past employer and friend. She was special. Her service was beautiful, touching and exactly what she would have wanted, had she planned it herself. I had taken her a meal around the holidays and remember thinking to myself, "She is a fighter, she is too tough for cancer." The service was outside and the sun was beautiful and warm. I loved the closeness that it brought her friends and family. Very sweet.

Also this week a dear sweet lady that I had just known for a few months was taken too soon. A few of my friends were very close to her and are struggling to come to terms with why so soon? She was an angel to so many and I can't help but to think of God's plans for her.

I'm always thrown back to his plan. What if we made our own rules, our own destiny? What if we knew when our last days would be? What if we wrote our own plans?

What if we had the patience and belief in him to give him the wheel? As I enter into the week I'm going to do better, at giving him the wheel. Im going to start now instilling this in my three.

We had a great weekend filled with our own little doses of timing ;) All in his plan.

Have a good week!

What if • day 26

Today was a long one. Not particularly bad just long. Gianna doesn't feel well and I haven't pinpointed what the problem is exactly. I'm thinking teeth but not really seeing those symptoms. Her fever is sitting at about 100 and Tylenol isn't touching it. Neither is Advil.

So tonight, she wouldn't eat. Come to think of it, she really only ate one bottle willingly today. Because we have three we do most of our daily routine in the living room. The only time we are in their room is to walk in and pick them up out of their cribs or to put them in their cribs. We play in the living room, eat in the living room, change diapers in the living room- everything in the living room.

Because I couldn't get her happy and because Aunt Amy and Aunt Sterling were here to help, I was able to walk Gianna back and rock her to sleep. I'm usually spinning around the house in crazy mode so this was a rare and welcomed, occasion.

As I was rocking her she was looking at me. Her eyes were heavy and I could see she felt awful. They are pretty blue and looked glassy. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed holding her. I started thinking that as much pain as infertility had brought me that if this was the reward, I was glad for the tough journey. But my mind won't let me only think of the reward without reminding me of, what if there was never a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

I also thought that if I still wasn't pregnant and still had not had a baby...I would be angered, had I read this post on someone's blog. But what I thought as I rocked even more was no, this would bring me hope. A hope that I never read when I was struggling. A hope that was real and that I could put my hands around. I was at the bottom with no hope and here I am rocking this baby, my baby to sleep.

What if I wasn't given this story to share and to give hope to the hopeless?

What if • day 25

Whit had a customer this week that told him about a onesie at old navy that said mommy's good egg across the front. She explained that she too did fertility and had twins.

This made me think about where we were last year at this time. We had decided on what baby would have what name. We knew at this point they wouldn't change positions and that what we named them would be their order out etc.

It took me back to that day in October in Dr. Selah's office. That was the day they would look at our embryos one last time before transfer. That was the day the embryologist told us we had a really good one, an okay one and a not so good one. That was when she said we will probably put in the two best, we should dispose of the third because it probably won't make it to freeze. This was also the day my mother instincts came out and I said, "no, we're putting in all three- I want to talk to the doctor."

He agreed with us and we rolled the dice.

You know where this is going... What if I agreed and settled? What if we had said okay and not given out third "good egg" a shot?

What if • day 24

I love Saturdays and I love the rain. I love Sundays and the productivity the sunshine brought to this one. I've been tired as usual but my sudden surge of energy, after a restful day of rain was a nice change.

Whit and I had time away together on Saturday and we made the most of it. We met Cameron and Jill for lunch, had some much needed downtime, returned some things at the mall, ate a cookie(flex points!), bought paint at lowe's, picked up our new babysitter tablet at scribbles and loved having the afternoon together. We rarely take time to just run errands but rather schedule out around an event- which defeats the purpose!

I've put my toe in the water with my catering again. Nothing huge just a few jobs a week. It was nice to be on a deadline but being able to juggle it all with the babies, was great-something I've been scared of since they were born.

We cleaned out the dining room- the catch-all since they arrived, put up the triplet table, made a yummy breakfast, fed three babies about 20 times, painted some high chairs for their birthday party, did 10 loads of laundry, made baby food for all three babies for for 10 days and managed to play life, sorry and UNO!!!!

Tonight we ran next door for a yummy steak dinner with the family and as I made bottles, I once again was visited with feelings of thankfulness. Thankful tonight for all the special people who lend a hand to our world. Because all of the things we accomplished this weekend could never be, without them. :) I'm also thankful for a rich marriage. Rich in love, direction and more importantly, rich in focus. We are both focused on doing the very best for our kids.

I watched the news tonight and saw where a baby in an adults custody was found with a blood alcohol level 3x the legal limit of an adult. Made me sad and mad. Where is his focus?

As I say good-night to another weekend I finish it with questions swirling around in my head. What if a generous friend didn't buy us this neat beeba cooker? What if Aunt Karen, Aunt Sterling, Aunt ET & Aunt kim didn't run over to feed every day? What if sweet whit wasn't off all day to enjoy all the "1st" this pretty Sunday? What if our sweet Alissa had moved to Dallas and not taken us on as a job? What if our sweet three weren't given the opportunities we are about to give them?

What if • day 23

Talent. I think everyone has one. Maybe it's painting, speaking in public, decorating an empty space, sewing, cooking.... These are all talents that we have to nurture.

I love to cook and have since I was a kid. In my adult life I've almost adapted it as some sort of therapy. I love dropping off an unexpected meal, a needed meal or a random batch of cookies as a token of encouragement.

Today, our sweet Nanny Alissa had a trunk show with all of her amazingly cute children's clothes. All custom designed with fabrics you choose. I am simply gushing over the cuteness she put together. Yes, proud momma.

I couldn't help but notice how people who popped in were in awe of her talent. I love that she has this fun platform that she can share the talent God has given her.

I think nurturing our talents and sharing them with others is key. I think we feel good when we get to say, " hey look what I did!"

I've been taking a meal a month to an older lady. Her granddaughter lives out of state and wanted to send her some yummy meals. I look forward to our visits. She always looks forward to telling me what she loved about the last meal and what her days have been filled with. This is more than just me cooking and taking her a meal. This is the part about talent that I love. Through talents, we are tapping into others!!!!

We should all nurture our talents. The world would be flat if we just did what was expected. What if we didn't notice others talents?

What if we were all good at the same things? Boring.

What if • day 22

Favorites. I think we all have them. Favorite places, favorite foods, favorite jeans and favorite people. It might be the way they treat you, the way you feel when your with them or the example or symbol they are in your life.

Sundays are hard days. Whit works all day and with triplets and nap schedules church isn't always an option. So this past Sunday we loaded up in strollers and walked the few miles to one of our baby feeders homes. Her favorite is Becker.

She fell and broke her knee cap several months ago and hasn't been able to come feed in quite some time. She came over on Valentines and brought Becker balloons and cried about how she missed feeding him. When she comes over to help feed, she only feeds Becker :)

So as we walked up to her door I immediately thought how beautiful the weather was and how cool the morning was. I kept thinking THIS, was going to be good! She stood behind the storm door in disbelief, almost not opening it! She came out crying and was completely beside herself. It was a joy to watch.

She took him from Alissa's arms and began telling him how she missed him. We made her Sunday and she made ours. It was a good day and even though we were not sitting in church- a feeling of gratefulness washed over me.

Later that day Grant, my uncle came over and brought the babies a bunny and two chicks... The ones you wind up. They watched them carefully. They haven't totally figured the movement out. Spring is here!! Easter is on it's way!

We all have people that love our children and even pick one or two out as their favorites. It's kind of an unspoken relationship.

What if our lives weren't touched by certain people? What if we didn't have a few favorites of our own?

What if • day 21

This is hokey but leap year made me think about the lack of time in my life. I keep thinking if only there was more time in the day, the night, the week. Whit got home last night at 10:15 from work.

He missed the dinner routine and the bed time routine and I texted him a video of GG laughing at me whispering. It made my heart hurt that he hadn't seen them all day. I understood and there were no hard feelings- its just the way that it goes. But, it made me wish for more time in the day. It made me wish for more time with him, more time to love on my babies and more time to get things done.

I can't lie- no matter how much sleep I get- I want more. If I had more time in the day I would definitely sleep more too! But if someone really offered me two more hours in the day what would I do with it?

Would I go see that friend I have been putting off for months? Would I take time to call my overseas friend that I miss so much? Would I go to the store and actually get everything on my list instead of the five emergency items?Would I take another walk outside with the triplets? Would I read them another book? Would I make a more elaborate dinner other than the usual turkey burger or taco salad? Would I return the 12 messages that are in my voicemail cue?

What if the day was 26 hours instead of 24?