Friday, August 8, 2014

A New Semester

We will load up this month and head to the beach and in true Becki fashion I already have lists upon lists and plans upon plans and demand upon demand in prep of the week away. 

I haven't had time to write lately. Nothing has seemed worthy. Nothing huge going on over here.  But to be honest lots and lots has been going on- just nothing I wanted to put on paper because I felt like I was swirling around in place with my eyes closed- I felt dizzy. 

We have been doing the usual. Night golf cart rides, dinners with friends, working, juggling sleep deprived summer scheduled triplets, play dates, our anniversary celebration and a quick girls trip to Dallas for some fun. Work is busy and I've fought that feeling of "is this what I'm supposed to be doing"... This season of being a mom, being a fundraiser, a friend, a wife-it's a full life. Then after questioning it- I have this amazing work week and walk away feeling so successful and GOOD about where I am.

But sometimes I feel like someone put one of those blindfolds on my face and spun me around 100 times and told me not to fall. The kids are forgiving and so is whit, but the balls I'm juggling feel heavy. But then I regroup and realize that's just life and it's just my perspective. I'm so thankful to feel heavy because that means I have all these relationships and that God has ALL these plans for ME!

I'm excited to see our beach trip unfold. I'm excited to make memories and hold these three year olds, in this fading season of wanting to be held. Last year was work at the beach and I have no doubt that this one will be too- but I'm happy to soak in all the things we do wrong in the day to day and pour into them, making it right. 
In September,  Alissa will go to part time for us and shortly after, just be our occasional sitter and friend.  This has been a much prayed over subject and we are excited about what's to come. The kids will still be at home except for their Mother's Day out day. Alissa will be growing her graphic design business and working on some creative projects. We have had an amazing 3 years with alissa and I could never describe in this space what she has meant and continues to mean to our family. Alissa was the first person outside of our family to hold our babies. She started the week after they came home from their three month stay in the NICU. She administered meds, bottles and gave baths like a pro. Machines that monitored their breathing didn't scare her and she always had an air of confidence unlike anyone else I've known. We trusted her with these tiny beings and we will forever be thankful for her compassion. Caring for triplets is a gift, one that alissa truly holds. Patience is something that not all of us have a lot of, but alissa holds buckets. She is also wise beyond her years and has taught me lessons of grace for myself, and these babies. We've made so many memories and I know these will continue because this is not the end- just a change in scenary. 

She will still live with us for now which is great for all of us. Alissa pushed me as a mom to be better and make hard choices. I tend to lean on the side of caution when it comes to them and in turn, hold them back. She has pushed me to make bold choices for them.  When people would ask how long we would have alissa with us I always jokingly said, " we would like to have her until the kids are 18" I really wasn't joking. But reality is- we all need growth and our memories will grow richer in the days to come. 

So, lots of fall happenings over here. I'm excited for a new "semester" in our lives and new air in our home. I can't wait to post some beach trip pics!

Hope you are all soaking up the last days of summer and taking lots of pics! Happy Friday friends!

Monday, July 7, 2014

Red White Blue

I've noticed lately that Riggs is heavy. He feels solid and his body is changing from this squishy little toddler to a solid little boy. My friends are having their second and third children and I'm desperately trying to hold on to every stage that mine are racing through.  Sometimes the stages are hard and sometimes they are like a beach trip that you wished wouldn't end. Lately the things they say are hilarious and most days I go to bed trying to remember the funny things they string together that barely make sense. They make me laugh without making complete thoughts. Sometime after working all day I don't understand what they are saying but after a weekend with them it's like we speak the same language again. 

Long weekends make me want to run wild. Wild and adventurous is what I want them to remember about me. I want them to remember a level of spontaneity- which is a stretch for me. I want them to remember doing hard things that made us reach a little harder. Of course I like the easy planned weekends but the holiday weekends-that we stretched bed time for 10pm fireworks and drive to Austin for a jam packed Sunday- complete with swing music and a patio sipping a lemonade cocktail and them vanilla gelato- those are the ones I want them to tell their spouses about when they are 36. I got to see my friends love on my kids and I got to squeeze their littles too this weekend which made it perfect. 

I want their breath to be taken away in ten years when they step back into a fresh spring fed pool because they remember that day their mom and dad woke up and said "let's road trip today. "

This fourth was traditional and untraditional all in the same way. We enjoyed an eggs Benedict brunch with friends, a neighborhood parade with songs and great people and very special neighbors, pool time with fresh strawberry margaritas, BBQ and a neon stick filled golf course and a late night fire works show. It was their first. And while they may only be three years old- they could each recal what their favorite part of the day was as we tucked them in to their beds well after 11pm.

This weekend felt special and at the same time slow motion. I used to say that thanksgiving was my favorite holiday and then it became fourth of July in recent years and now I've just decided that since we got that little plus sign three plus years ago- it's the hope that comes with all holidays that gets me. I like the joy that holidays fill us up with. It's like the celebrations fill our cups with joy until the next holiday. I'm thirsty for joy. I hope my kids feel fulfilled.

The fourth was the holy grail when I was little. My dad would buy thousands of dollars of fireworks and we would take the barge out by noon and drive it in around midnight. It seems like centuries ago. Now, the safety neurotic self that I've become, I would fold under the sheer planning of an all day lake venture with the trips. How did my dad do it all with such grace and ease? He made it look so easy. 

So last year I started a brunch, everyone is invited, whoever is in town. It's our own tradition and it has developed into this kid filled, mimosa bar having, America the beautiful song singing morning of flag waving good. 

I love holidays in general. A reason to celebrate big. But there's just something special about anything red white and blue. 

Hope your holiday was perfect. Happy July! 

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Sweet Summer

 CATCH UP POSTS//because life is crazy I sometimes write and never post. Then new events happen, weeks fly by and then the posts are dated//Sorry// Catch up below//

Around 18 months I was emailing and calling all my triplet momma friends. My kids had become stage 5 clingers and no matter what setting we were in- they wanted me and they wanted to be held. There could have been 66 kids begging them to play with new shiny toys and 103 blinking light games and they would still be crying at my feet to be held. I couldn't breathe. I felt like I had done something wrong to literally enable them to play in groups or to play alone quietly. It was strange. But after talking to others, it sounded normal. One mom said, "you will miss the clingers." I thought no way, anything is better than this. That's about the time we made it a point to jump feet first into play groups and added a day of mother's day out to our routine.

So at the end of this month the clingers, will be three. The boys rarely ask to be held( Gigi will ask to be held when she is 10 I'm convinced) and always ask for your hand. We were walking into school the other day and alissa and I stared at one another noting that EVERYONE was walking and no one was even asking to be held. Miracle. Last night at bed Gianna crawled up into her bed and when she put out her hand I noticed that her wrist was still chubby like a baby. You know, that little fat part that makes a crease in their wrist? My heart has been heavy with this toddler stage as it moves farther from "toddling" and more into "kid". No more babies for us and no more wrist chubby. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

I marvel over all the pregnant women in our lives and how they juggle a baby on the hip, a four year old running around and a two year old they are trying to wrangle..... I love that balance. And while ours is very very different, I love our balance. I love that while we may have everyone going in three different directions- we are all moving at the same speed. Everyday is new. Everyday is different. And while my twin mommas can "identify" with me- the third baby(kid) is definitely the one that throws this train off rail :) I bet my quad momma friends are laughing at my post.

I feel like summer brings on a lot of celebration at our house. First of all, my spring event is OVER, Easter has been celebrated in a big way, mother's day has been celebrated(my heart might have exploded), Father's day was big,  the summer beach vacation has been booked, swimming lessons are complete, Whit and I are planning a mini vacation for our 10th anniversary and we celebrated the most important birthday in our lives…the shep trips. May 27th, yep, it was a game changer. While my BFF will tell you that was NOT the delivery day I had in mind, it was their day nonetheless. It was a day filled with fear and joy and I am certain there will never be another day like it. Mostly fear. It was the day we became parents and the day our hearts officially started beating and living outside of our chests. Some may come close but none will match it, ever. The three amigos turned three.

I hope you too are coasting into summer. I hope you plan a trip with your kids, your husband or your girlfriends. I hope that if you found my blog because you have also struggled for babies or are struggling for babies, that this summer you continue on the path of hope and find JOY in the everyday of this season. I have some summer(maybe fall) plans for my blog. I would like to add some resource pages giving extra support and additional information on how we got from point a to point b in our baby journey. I have been drawn to helping others on this path and have found joy in pouring into their lives. I think its so funny how our lives are so "connect the dots". I am certain God gave me this infertility voice to speak His word over friends and friends of friends. He proves times and time again that He will not leave us and He will see his plan through. I also plan on adding a multiples resource page to help multiple mommas gain a grasp of what it looks like to momma more than one at the same stage. stay tuned…..

Happy Summer friends, it's here……..