Nothing fun before 6 am

I've decided that in the last year we have had a lot of mornings that began before 6am. Specifically lots of out of town doctors appointments, two surgeries and now tubes for GG. The hustle and bustle the night before is a job in itself. Then, you rush out of the house the next morning and you're home before the day actually begins.

I know she needs these tubes, but surgery is hard on a momma. You would think I'd be a pro by now. I don't think you can ever be a professional at someone taking your baby from your arms to a cold operating room.

So lift up our sweet girl tomorrow. Prayers for an easy and quick surgery and pray for a tear free morning... Ok at least for her mom.

Heart in my teeth

When the babies lived in the NICU I remember feeling so dark. I remember the day they told me, "Riggs may have NEC". I remember the afternoon I was home baking a delicious batch of double fudge brownies for my nurses, only to arrive, hot plate of gooey brownies in hand, to a white-as-a-sheet husband and team full of doctors and nurses working on my Becker. I also remember the cell phone ringing at 2am and the heart in my teeth, gut wrenching stomach pain I had when they said, "it's Gianna, she is very sick". I had been at the hospital with them just hours before each of these occurrences. How could they be this sick, this fast? Lighting struck without the thunder in the NICU.

Waco is small and when someone else has triplets, someone calls you and tells you, like you share a common thread ;) I guess we do, seeing that ivf is pretty common and triplets don't really run in families very often. About three months ago someone called me and told me of a mutual acquaintance that was having triplet boys. I smiled and was quickly reminded of the sleep training method we did when the babies came home. I thought about how for some reason whit thought that because the babies were in their tacos in the living room- that they must want to listen to CMT all night. I slept maybe two hours a night during that time. I was overjoyed for this family but also skipped a breath when I thought of their un-avoidable NICU stay.

When they were born I think she was about 25 weeks. We received the news that all was well and that no one was on a vent!!! God was watching over them and giving them strength and all seemed to be as good as can be expected for preemies of that gestation. Then in what felt like a matter of days two of these precious babies went to be with the Lord.

What?! This is not it. This is not the end of their story! This cannot be. Yea, full panic. I'm sick. I'm saddened and all I want to do is call them and scream into the phone how completely sorry I am. How life isn't fair and how I know they have three of everything waiting for them at home. How I can see their nursery and how if anyone touches those two cribs, someone will get hurt. I want to Facebook them and tell them to keep fighting. But do they really want to hear from triplet mom who has three healthy babies at home? No. So I just prayed. I prayed for understanding and hope.

And once again, there I sat, with my heart in my teeth wanting so badly to reach out to them and pray to God to give them more signs like that beautiful rainbow they saw, to show them He is rocking their babies. Life is hard and this whole baby business is the hardest. I seriously have no words. When your pregnant with three- or any number for that matter, that's how many are supposed to come home.

God lift them up.

We took gg to the ear nose and throat doc last week. Turns out our sweet, shy, book type isn't that at all- she has so much fluid behind her ears she needs tubes- she can't hear! So once again we will head into an operating room. I don't think I will ever sleep again. She was put on antibiotics and in three days she is loud, dancing and acting like someone else's girl.

Kids. Yep, my heart might stay in my mouth. Forever.

Shine

Today is day 9 of post surgery. I have the use of my hands, just not the strength. It's frustrating because I want to feed/bathe/unbuckle the babies-just can't with ease yet.

This weekend we are treating Gianna to a triplet-free weekend. Alissa and I have taken her for a girls weekend while Whit gets extra love from the boys. He misses her and I miss those boys but I have to admit- one baby allows you to see things more closely.

We took her out to dinner and we sat on the patio. Normally I follow a strict nap routine and I let all of that go. It's nice to just be carefree and let her be who she is and not shape her by the temperament of the three as a whole.

She listened, danced to the music, ate till her heart was content and went to bed almost two hours behind "schedule". She even squeezed in a cake ball.

To watch her shine as a little girl and see her as a single baby and not as the "triplets" is so beautiful and new to me. To see her eyes dance and hear her speak when normally she is reserved and in the boys' shadows- is shiny and special.

The night before

I'm a wreck. Yep, nervous and anxious. I've only had two surgeries in my life; one trying to have a baby and one having three babies. Hand surgery was not on my to do list.

Tomorrow morning I will be wheeled back and hopefully out with new, working hands. A lot of words have been thrown at me this week and tonight my head is swimming. Vascular, nerve damage, hands elevated, no driving, no texting?!, no eating, no brushing your own teeth? What In the world?

To say that I'm in a full state of panic is an understatement. Im thinking of all that needs to be done for the kids, work, etc. etc........

But right now I am going to stop. I'm going to focus on the good here. Yep, the silver lining.

My event is going great. My chairs and past chair are working overtime. Our sweet Alissa has literally pledged her life to us for the next few weeks, she has prepared everything!!!, my march of dimes team has all pitched in, my hubby is taking over the breakfast routine, my sweet family is all helping in shifts, my moms of multiples are all praying, my sweet friends are all preparing meals, my neighbors are bringing over paper goods and daily devotionals- how much better could this get? God is present. He is here. He has put his hand on my shoulders and I know that this too shall pass.

I hope everyone has a great week and takes a moment to just be thankful. I spent my lunch at home today in the front yard on a blanket with Riggs, Becker and Gianna. A break from my normal meeting packed lunch. It was breezy and nice. Do it one day this week. It's unexpected bliss.

Our house smells like breakfast

Whit and I have never been breakfast people. We rarely eat anything before nine and we rarely eat breakfast together like you see on tv. You know the milk and juice on the counter while everyone leisurely eats their cereal and toast? That's not us.

But like I have often said- this whole mom and dad world often changes the rules mid-stream. We are making this story up as we go. Lately our house has smelled like breakfast. Riggs demands sweet things like pastries, sweet cereals, oatmeal, pancakes, apple cinnamon waffles etc. GG doesn't care just as long as she gets a lot and Becker, he is go with the flow and loVEs fruit. So breakfast is officially a thing at our house.

Last week we took the babies to Chuy's, like we do once a week. We've always gone with the plan of the more we take them out to eat the more they will know how to behave in restaurants. Sometimes it's a breeze and sometimes it's a struggle. Each time we learn more about where we can go and what to bring to make the experience better. Most of the time one baby is a shining star and the other two take turns acting out :) So, back to last week. We took them to Chuy's and literally the wheels fell off the bus. Everyone was crying, standing up, throwing their food and acting totally crazy. People were giving me dirty looks and our waiter was taking his complete time because I think he was new and our table was like the waiter curse of kids and food everywhere. By the time our food came I was the most hated person in the restaurant. My face was hot, my patience tested and I was completely overwhelmed. Whit was at work so my two friends helped me gather them up, we paid quickly and left without eating. Not fun.

I jokingly told them they were on restaurant probation. We spent the weekend at home cheering on the Bears and cooking out. I've often said that time flies and I wish it would slow and while I believe that- I'm also loving the stages we are moving from and to. They have been talking a lot more and saying words and expressions that make us laugh. Becker purposely drops things so he can say uh-oh! Riggs has started making kiss lips and GG, she raises her eyebrows, like I do when she is doing something questionable. What?! How do they learn so quickly?

Now for the hand surgery. It's happening next Wednesday. Both of my hands will be out of commission. The pain is great and the fact that they are getting worse makes this the perfect time. Your prayers and thoughts are appreciated.

We were given a Fall shopping spree by a generous friend, so we are set. I don't think people realize the power of their gifts and friendships. We value the visits, the help with putting on pajamas and the warm clothes given to us. Our house is in transition. Warmer clothes, chocolate chip pumpkin bread, fires, holidays- we're ready. Feels like just a few months ago they were all bundled up and in their strollers. I still feel like a first time mom, making it up as I go- but you can bet- it officially smells like breakfast in our house.


I hope everyone has a great weekend!