God is good.

I remember planning to take the babies home from the NICU and how in my head it would be one way and it turned out a lot differently. I had these adorable kissy kissy layettes that a friend purchased all pressed and ready but when the time came my newborns were half the size of those newborn outfits. I was a little crushed but bringing them home far outweighed the outfit choice.

I watched their videos the other night of when they made their trips home. It amazed me that I seemed so confident, so ready to take on raising three little lives. I looked at peace with the months that we had spent in the NICU. I didn't look tired or weary but more blissful than anything. We looked like fighters.  Like We had made it out of the storm and had all of our belongings in tow. 

Like our days in the nicu, last week felt like a storm and made me revisit emotions that I haven't in a while. Uncertainty.  I guess you could say for a few days my world was rocked a little. Made us really hold on to our friends and family and appreciate who loves us tight. Made me "shake" my shame-shame finger to friends who weren't being friends and push myself to move away from the toxic relationships that had developed over whits 13 year long career. I don't know what took us so long to see this. Whit's loyalty was a huge factor. But I can stand firmly in saying- never, ever- again. 

Today I'm feeling like we are stepping out of the storm and into a field that is ours for the taking. More time with whit in the evenings and Saturdays are all for US! Yep, daddy is home and it's oh so good. No more money binding vice to hold us back. No more tit for tat and no one to claim "they paid for our babies!" LOL 

As Mema Pat would say, "what the wtf?!"

I guess a big old thank you is in order. Feeling blessed. God is good.