One Whole Year- Happy 1st Birthday Shep Trips

Today was the day. The day, one year ago that our lives changed forever in the most amazing way. I remember the day, as much as the docs and the meds ;) would let me. I remember the fear that washed over my friends, family and whit. I remember crying and saying 29 weeks and 2lbs was not "ideal".... I think that was the preparation for my not so "ideal" year.

This year has been joy, endurance, patience, hope, prayer filled, and LOVE-has seriously run over in our home. The feeders, the constant donation of diapers, the support from friends who have been here- and from friends that have no idea, "but can only imagine"...we feel whole.

One whole year and a wholeness in our marriage and family that I could never type. The sadness we felt with no kids always brought comments like, "maybe it's not meant to be and maybe you will enjoy a child-free home once you accept it"... I'm glad I never rested. I'm glad I never accepted it. I'm glad I drained our accounts and borrowed massive amount of money.. These three were worth it 100 times over.

Sure those first 3 months home were brutal but the prize at the end... Oh guys, you really have no idea. This multiples thing is like non-other. Being a mom is exactly what I thought it would be- but three times better. When they are all crying and want to be held- it's mad around here but to put three littles to bed singing Jesus Loves Me, one after the other...it's the cheese on a burger.

I miss my freedom. I miss the care-free schedule I once led- but being a mom is a much more freeing feeling. I'm in charge of little lives and I want to give them all the good I have.

My infertile friends are still in my thoughts. That agony and the scars have not left my side. I hope my joyful tune is welcomed with a sense of encouragement.

This entire weekend has been great. Yesterday was their first birthday party. Today we did pancakes for breakfast, lunch at newks with daddy and friends, pool and a BBQ. Tomorrow mommy and daddy get a little time off.

Happy birthday to my sweet 3. You have no idea how much You were wanted, prayed for and loved-even before your arrival. What a whole year brings.

Last day

I've joked a lot this week about how the reason people only give two weeks notice is that they emotionally can't take it any longer. Yesterday was my last day at FFR. Even as I'm typing that- it doesn't seem real.

Betsy pulled out all the stops and planned a lovely reception for me. Board members stopped by with flowers, cards and sweet wishes. Very difficult day to say the least.

So Tuesday will be my first day on the job with The March of dimes. Say prayers for a smooth transition and that my heart gets a band-aid until then.

Today is party day for the shepherd triplets!

Time marches on....

May. Where has it gone? Birthday planning, the style show, earaches, whole milk, crazy schedules, baby dedication, baby outfits, 100 trips to target/heb, the book 50 shades of grey, pool time, first mothers day..... And a job change for me.

What? Yes, I took a job with The March of Dimes. This was a long, well thought out decision. Lots of prayers and methodical thinking went into our everyday while making this decision. It was by no means an overnight move. I learned an unmeasurable amount from FFR and my mentor, Betsy. She will remain a huge part of my life and so will all the fuzzies. My heart has been heavy this week as I make my move week after next.

The style show was a huge success making my move harder but with a successful joy. I feel a sense of "my work is done here"... A sense of gratitude and love for all that I have been given by the founder. I feel an enormous amount of anxiety and hope for my new position and the
good-byes are bittersweet. Of course being the type A that you know me to be... I am struggling with giving my baby over. I hope the person sitting in my chair loves those dogs and cats like I did. I hope they love bringing in the money for the voiceless as much as I did. I hope they love their job as much as I did. I hope they give it their all.

The babies have been making major changes as they eek towards one year. Riggs is all over the place. Gianna is more girlier than ever even though she is now the heavy weight and baby B has managed to smile at all 20 people that come through our front door on a daily basis. I guess you could call him the greeter. Whole milk is now on the menu, we had our first sick visit complete with an earache and we are considering bands for misshaped heads. Mothers day was perfect in every way. They love lunch out and high chairs at restaurants are a favorite. A new found independence....

I've been reading 50 shades of grey and while I'm embarrassed to admit it- it's a super good read. I've also decided that there could be a lucrative position for someone who sold trips to heb and target....

I hope everyone is having a great week. More details on the head bands, The March of Dimes and their dedication coming soon.

Happy weekend!

Nurses Week

I delivered food to our sweet nurses in the nicu yesterday in honor of nurses week. I buzzed the front desk and asked for Lindsey, one of our favorites. I was buzzed in and the smell immediately took me back to our life 10 months ago. Seems like 5 years ago- but weeks ago in some ways

I saw a tired momma washing her hands at the washing station and slipping into her sterile gown. A wave of uncertainty washed over me as I wondered how old and how stable her baby was. I remember how I was at home baking brownies one moment thinking everyone was stable and when I arrived whit was supposed to be at work- he was bedside with one of ours that had taken a turn for the worse. Uncertainty was a daily struggle.

I saw a bunch of familiar faces and we all picked up where we left off. I miss those great souls. There were lots of babies and I tried not to wonder about where they were in their journey. I noticed the beds that my babies occupied and remembered the grueling schedule we once had just ten short months ago. I remember not wanting to leave but at the same time wanting them all in their beds and under one roof. I remember longing for a normal life and a normal new baby smell home.

My heart was heavy when I left. Joyous to have met so many wonderful people who loved mine as their own and sad that there are rarely empty beds there. God had big plans for us while we occupied those three beds. He taught us patience like we had never known, humility and grace. He taught me to trust when I wasn't sure. He showed me his strength over and over even when I didn't believe.

The tacos I took seemed small in comparison to what they gave us. As we turn the page of one whole year.... I am faced with a gratefulness like none other.

Happy nurses week!