The Umbilical Cord

I remember when I couldn't get pregnant how I would hear friends and strangers say, "being a mom changes everything". I remember thinking, yea yea yea... Your a mom and that's the change.

My weekends consisted of whatever I wanted to do. Maybe laying in bed until three, watching 7 hours of the food network or catching a movie with friends. Now my weekends consist of a highly scheduled list of activities and baby sitters scheduled two months out.

This weekend we snuck away to Dallas for a nice dinner and some r&r at the Ritz. It was nice but I have to admit.... I thought about my kids more than the average momma. I thought about their every move, what they were eating, if they were cold if they missed us and thought about the moment we would reunite- even though it had been less than 24 hours. What?

Our labor/delivery was a drawn out one that lasted from 9pm on one night to 3pm the next day... But once in the delivery room it was FAST. Too fast for me to request that whit cut the cords, too fast for me to ask for a picture of it and too fast for us to bask in the joy of giving life to 3 precious littles.

I'm always sad when I think about what we missed. Sad we had to leave that hospital without the traditional wheel chaired mom holding a baby. Sad that we left them all behind. Sad that we missed those firsts and sad that cords were not cut- at least by us. But what I'm grateful for is this new found attachment that has its' claws in me. While I love my freedom- I love that someone needs me and has my undivided attention.

I love that I can get away for a night with my husband- yet I have these babies needing and awaiting my return. While the umbilical cord was indeed cut- I still feel the weight of their connection. I now know what those moms were talking about- everything has changed.

When we came home they lit up like,"hey I know you" and it melted my heart. I've often struggled with needing a break after being mom for days on end, then when I take a break, I want to be with them. It's a delicate balance that I'm learning more and more every day.

So as the sun goes down on another pretty Sunday, I'm glad to have all my chicks back in the nest. I'm proud to be their mom and proud to say... I'm balancing!!! ;)

Happy Sunday everyone.