Grace

When I named Gianna it didn't stick like I felt that it should(I've blogged about that before) I thought I would instantly see her face and know that her name was the right one. Gianna wasn't a family name. It wasn't a name I had held onto for years. It wasn't even one I loved. It meant "gift from God", and that was exactly what she was. I drug up all the names I loved for years and I couldn't settle one any. Mema Pats mothers name was Grace and it stuck well. I kept thinking about all of the people who had given me grace when I was at my worst. I knew that they would all serve as a reminder, but I wanted to be reminded of His grace everytime I said her name. 

This week in church Vincent spoke to me. He talked about giving others Grace--- today. I think sometimes I choose the easy ones. Meaning the ones asking for it, not really searching my life index for the ones who don't want it or could careless if I extend it to them. I often give that grace to the ones saying they are sorry but not the ones who aren't saying they are sorry. I think as adults there isn't always that clear cut " we are in a fight because...." I think things get complicated and there is often confusion on why it all started. Because lives are busy we just move on and never really talk it out or extend any grace to one another. To be honest this isn't a resolved blog post. Not one that I have this great answer for or where I post this awesome solution but more a blog post about growth in grace and maybe one that just says we are all human and a simple card that says the situation we are in sucks, I don't have the answers for how we got here but I love you. 

I felt like Vincent was talking to me in that room and no one else was in any of the chairs. I felt confused on how to answer the call. I felt mildly frustrated about this call because I wanted to stomp my feet and say- but it's not my fault. But I think that's it- when I hurt so bad and longed for kids and was receiving a baby shower invite daily, people extended grace to me. I was mean. I was selfish. I was self centered. They loved me anyway. I was crazy and not myself and sure there were people I pushed so hard- they gave up. But there were people who gave me grace and we have talked about it since. 

And once again, this infertility thing is teaching me more. The plans he has/had for me has re-written my testimony. 

1 Peter 4:10 

 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

Hope you guys are ready for this cool front. I went to the store and my basket looked like I was about to hibernate. I think I might after my event. Have an awesome week.