Growing towards the light

When I was looking at the flowers on our coffee table I noticed that the tulips had drastically taken a right turn. I then realized they had decided to grow towards the light. I think we are a lot like that.

I've been meaning to blog for weeks and something always came up. Work, kids, trying to do right by them and staying ahead of my goals at work. I've often complained or vented about not being everything to everyone no matter how hard I try but tonight it all came to me- we are all struggling with being the best to everyone, all the time. We are constantly trying to accomplish everything on the to-do list or Saturday list when none of that matters. Instead we should be worried about growth.

Growth with God. Spiritual growth. Growing towards the light. Sometimes I think God creates moments or road blocks to make us choose him. Moments that make us reach for him. Two funerals this week have made our house reach for him... Ask him 100 why's, why nots and what if's. Not exactly getting the answers we were searching for but getting comfort in knowing that he has this greater plan. No, the hope of a plan doesn't soothe the pain but we are promised that God is close to the broken hearted.

I had a sense of guilty peace with me this weekend. Grateful for my family and guilty for those who have suffered unimaginable loss this past week. I know prayers are being heard for understanding, peace and love, for all that has been lost.

Today I want peace our hearts. I don't want to feel rushed at work, with my kids... In the moment. I want to enjoy every moment. I want the warmth of the sun and to feel that growth in all that I do. I want my family to grow towards the light.

I know he has placed hands on these hurting families. Lord, please give them the warmth and comfort that they so desperately seek. Amen.