365 days

When I think about a whole year, I think of the end. Thanksgiving, Christmas, new years... All the good stuff that we've worked so hard for. The reward for enduring the entire year of really great moments and really hard days.

I think about all we accomplished as a family and the memories we made in the days leading up to that 365th day. I think about goals we made and ones we missed and I make plans to reach the ones we let fall by the wayside . I make new personal goals, some small like send someone a card each week and some big like be a better person.

When I think of an entire year I think of all the positive moments and all that I am so grateful for. I've often said, "where has this year gone?!" or "wow, this year has flown by!"

Tuesday my friend Lindsey asked me out to her house for a bonfire to remember her husband that past away 365 days ago(reference my blog last year November). I had kiddo duty because whit worked late. So I showed a little late but when I got there, there was this huge fire with friends and family sprinkled around it. A praise band was singing some of their favorites, kids were everywhere and marshmallows were being roasted. It was the most perfect and beautiful night. But as they sang the lyrics to my favorite Crowder song, I was overwhelmed with the thought 365 days prior that she had endured. I played back every memory I had with whit and the babies and imagined her alone with her girl for 365 days and nights.

I could list 5,000+things that she probably missed about him that year and how her year had probably felt like the longest year of her life without him. How goals must seem like such a joke and how these upcoming holidays must be so bitter sweet. My heart was in my teeth once again and when I was handed a perfect balloon to release in his memory, I prayed. I prayed that God lift his family up and that friends and family would give them many more years of support and that each year it would become stronger rather than forgotten.

We had to get up early the next morning and drive to Dallas for a doctors appointment. As I drove I was reminded of how strong Lindsey is. I am in awe of her. I am blessed to know her and so grateful for her strong Christian attitude.

Three. Hundred. Sixty. Five.