"Where's Cooper Mommy?"

Gg came into our room last night when we were getting ready to go on our date night. She grinned at me and said, "mommy, where's cooper?" Before I could answer she said, " he's sick, he's with Jesus." I was glad she answered for me because I wasn't sure how to answer. I laughed a little because the sting wasn't so bad coming from her sweet self. I immediately asked alissa if she told her that and alissa smiled and said yes. I liked that when gg told me, she was so confident that Jesus had Cooper.

This week has been weird. In the middle of the night I'm not carefully stepping over a sleeping dog, we are not up and down 15+ times letting him out to potty and I'm not awakened by him snoring. When I get out of the shower, he isn't tap dancing on the concrete floors in the bathroom and he isn't waiting for me to leave the shower door open so he can drink the water. It's been sad. Lonely.

Whit keeps confirming that we did the right thing and that he went so peacefully because he was beyond ready- but I of course struggle with the balance of a full life and the responsibility of ending one. 

Ouch. 

When they put him to sleep, we were in the room. He put his head in my hands and I rubbed his ears. We cried as he drifted off. I was reminded of those days in my mid twenties when we got him. We weren't married. We barely had stable jobs and we were already taking on more than we could handle. Cooper was our second dog and we felt Colby needed a playmate. We were determined and committed to the life of these dogs. I'm proud that his life was a full one.

He was a super friendly puppy but as he got older we were certain that something went wrong. We speculated that a utility worker or a neighbor in our old neighborhood hit him or was mean to him in some way. He quickly became introverted, shy and growled at strangers. He never bit anyone but was scary if approached. Whit struggled with this. He took him everywhere in hopes to pull him out of this. Cooper never really came around. He was scared of strangers and we joked that he had amnesia because just when you thought he knew you- he would forget and bark and growl.

Cooper was a very, very smart Lab. He would swim for hours without a break. He would pull you to the side if you pretended you were drowning. He was faithful, he was loving and he really was man's best friend. 

The last few years were tough. He was in pain due to severe arthritis. He was grumpy because, well, he was fourteen. He had accidents often and couldn't decide if he wanted to be inside or out. We waited too long. That's my fault. I selfishly wanted him to, stay. 

I think gg is right. He's with Jesus. Why do I miss all the things I found so annoying, just last week? 

I've decided that as we get older the desire to get more pets lessens with the more responsibilities we have. Kids demand our attention and with work and life- there is little left over. But this week I've decided it's less about that and more about the fact that there are pets in your life that can't be replaced.

Have a good spring break everyone.