Every little thing...is gonna be alright

I've started this post and stopped it about 111 times. Md Anderson felt like weeks and it was only days. Mema wasn't herself and if you were about to remove my bladder I think it's fair to say, I wouldn't be either. I selfishly fought my mind over and over in the weeks leading up to surgery day. I kept thinking how she wouldn't be able to lead this full life and how she wouldn't be able to hold two of the triplets without batting an eye. I kept holding onto all the what ifs we let our brains latch on to. I kept turning my head away from her when she would talk about it all. Trying to avoid her asking for my opinion.

The week before her surgery I noticed I was doing that weird thing I do when I ignore the elephant in the room. I knew she needed to see me smile and tell her it would all be good. I wanted to believe it as much as she wanted to hear it and decided lunch would make it less awkward. We went to dee's, her favorite. She made me laugh for a solid hour and I saw this beautiful woman who I wasn't ready to see go, anywhere. This woman who raised me. This strong woman who I've only see cry three times in my whole life(I cried three times last week).  I knew in that moment- the surgery was the best answer. I was at peace with her decision and with the odds we were given. I was giving it to him- all of it. 

The night before surgery I made her take this selfie with me. 

She loves selfies so it was easy. She was cool and calm. I was full of fear and terror and she all but held my hand and said it was all gonna be okay. Or course she did. She was always in charge of our relationship and our big family- why would the next day be any different. 

The night was long, no one slept and at about 3:30 am, she told me she was at total peace and was fine with the plan. We left for the hospital at 4:30am. 

The day was long and we finally got to see her doctor about 2:30 and her at about 4:30. She was great. She looked good. I left the next day for a work meeting in college station then on to Waco to see my babies. My family stayed behind and did round the clock days/nights in the hospital. They were tired and weary but kept a constant flow of pics and good news coming our way. 

She came home this past Sunday and since then she has been recovering, sleeping, doing a little rehab exercising, eating well and loving on all of us. 

I can't wait to report in a few weeks that she is back to her old routine and requesting chicken salad and a dp. Thanks for all of your support of our family with the calls, texts, messages, meals, flowers and prayers. Those prayers carried us last week and they continue to cradle us each day and night.

She's a fighter and we are grateful to have been shown this path and to be where we are.

Oh, and Riggs is happy his Mema pat is home and they all can't believe kk has been gone so long!

Happy Tuesday, friends.