the shep trips: List Maker

I'm in that t- minus 3o day event season crunch. The season where I make 1,000 lists and they are scattered in my brain and on my phone. I can't focus, I can't think, I can't listen and I can't speak. I'm constantly running down my to-do's like today is my last. I stare at people when they talk because I can't really hear them because the stupid lists are running all over my brain like post it notes with legs.

My intentional parenting has sort of stunk up the place lately. My back has been hurting and my days are long. I put off a back injection and can barely lift my left leg. Videos like monsters inc have grown hot in the DVD player, if you know what I mean. Today I felt like the biggest failure because while I was running from meeting to meeting- Riggs was at the doctors office with Alissa. Epic fail. I knew he was off/not feeling well but had no fever. I made the appt late Thursday because I just had one of those mommy guts and didn't want to enter the weekend wishing I had taken him. Sweet aunt Jill stepped in and sat the other two while Sissa took Riggs. So while I jotted down logistics notes from my meeting I was looking at texts about Riggs having a double ear infection. Poor piggy and I wasn't even there to love on him.

I try hard to release myself and say I'm doing the best I can- but no amount of "go get em" relieves me of the vice of being their one and only. That sounds dramatic but us mommas take this job pretty seriously.

I think weekends are our do overs, our make up sessions. So today is Friday and I'm going to make the next two days, count. I plan on playing outside, hitting the zoo; enjoying a few meals out and kissing these three {and their daddy} a whole bunch. I'm gonna recharge and put the list making to rest.

Yesterday someone asked me what work looked like these days and I literally vomited a ton of "I got all this stuff to do" and when I left her I thought "why don't you calm down and when people ask, say- I'm really busy but you won't even believe how blessed I feel to tell people about a mission every single day-that saved my kids!"

So next week I plan on hitting Monday with a smile on my face and a stamp of approval on my heart. It's too good to complain about.