Christmess?

Sorry for the old post! Just now getting to this one!

December 8th

Today, church was about forgiveness and how Christmas sometimes brings all the messy to the front of our lives. I remember Christmases spent with my mom when my parents were together. I think I was three or four and I remember it being perfect. I remember stringing popcorn on thread with a needle and fruit loops on yarn. She was good at holidays, she was good at us. I don't remember messy or anger. 

Her dad lived in witchita falls and would come in and stay at a hotel. He never missed a Christmas and always had a car full of toys wrapped. He would just stay one night if that. He would pick us up and we would drive to some parking lot and while my brother and I sat in the back we would open tons of presents while he cheered us on. It was thrilling. Literally everything we wanted and in a 30 minute span. I never thought it was weird that they only said a few words to one another. She never went with us. She never came to the hotel. He would show up Christmas and mail money at birthdays. He was constant and faithful but until now, I never wondered what their relationship was like. They are both gone and I will never know. I wonder if there was a forgiveness that was needed. 

When I got married the pressure of running back and forth between families never really existed. My family was traditional and Whit's, easy going with no real set plans. My mom wasn't around so I was always sort of my own decision maker when it came to my life after college. When we got married holidays were simple. Each year, we've always seen everyone but I always wonder if someone is mad at me or desires more of our time but never says so. Now with three kids in tow- running all over is almost impossible. And because my family all lives close by we choose to stick around the neighborhood and ask Whit's family to join us.

I think everyone does what they want to do but I also think that kids make the differences in how much effort we put forward. Or at least they should. I think this month needs to be more about forgiveness than the hoopla of the December shiny month. Focusing on the fact that all of this is for us- but in order to cash in on all this amazing, we need to love one another through it all. 

Jesus. He's the whole reason.