A Joyful Mother with Children

Lately I haven't really felt like blogging. I don't know if the words haven't come to mind or if what we've been doing has just been the day to day but nothing has really struck me as - OH I GOTTA WRITE ABOUT THIS! 

But today we were in church and the sermon was sort of all over the place- it was all good places and a much needed message about trusting in his plan but towards the end he made mention of a psalm verse that in all those down on my knees moments of asking for a baby- I never once read this verse. He was speaking to me. And today in church He made me smile. 

Psalm 113:9

9     God nests the once barren woman at home— now a joyful mother with children! Praise the Lord!

I think I smiled mostly because I felt God tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "hey, see what I did there? Tell your friends!" He answers. Maybe not in our time and maybe not exactly what we ask, but He answers and I am so glad to be one of His children.

We had a wonderful weekend. It was filled with a relaxing (and crying)Saturday at the zoo and viteks and margaritas at chuys and a stop at ninfas after church. A few big naps, a cold snap, a girls night out birthday celebrating our sweet Amy Murphy and chili by the fire tonight, to bundle it all up perfectly. 

I am in the countdown once again of a major event and every single day has to be full of making things happen. I also plan on squeezing in two dates with the boys in march. Gg and I went to the egg and I & Barnes and Noble for hers. It was perfect and she thought she was a singleton. :) 

Happy Sunday Friends. Stay warm! 

He taught me how to roar.

Becker has been doing this thing where he chases you from room to room, lowers his whole body, angles his jaw towards the ground and says "ROAR" in his best scary voice. I absolutely love it. Riggs has been wanting all things chicken. He says chicken about 100 times a day, only wants to eat chicken at meal time and wants to pretend he is selling chicken on his play McDonald's cash register. Chicken. Gianna has been bossing the boys around a lot and wanting to be held or pushed in the stroller 100%of the time- no exceptions. 

These might seem like every day occurences to you but for me they are THE details. Details that in 6 months will seem so insignificant but they are huge in our everyday . They are the lines on my page. They are the memories that make really hard days, a snap. They are the details that make me weep when they fade and when the kids stop doing them.

We went to Chicago on my birthday. Whit's was valentines, so we sort of did a work/ bday combo. It was so good to get away, recharge and celebrate our birthdays together. Work has been super busy so finding time to feed our relationship has been hard. When we're together I'm always like, "we have to do this every week!" And then it's like another month or two and I'm like, "wait! We have to do this every week!"

Time flies and details slip away. I often forget big details, when birthday parties and showers are-and my outlook calendar has been shutting down from memory overload. So along with some healthier eating, on Monday I'm going to be sprucing up my calendar and being intentional about setting aside some key time for solo dates with the kids and my hubs......because who wouldn't want to carve out time for some of this}}}}

I don't want to forget one single detail. Not even how to roar.....

Every little thing...is gonna be alright

I've started this post and stopped it about 111 times. Md Anderson felt like weeks and it was only days. Mema wasn't herself and if you were about to remove my bladder I think it's fair to say, I wouldn't be either. I selfishly fought my mind over and over in the weeks leading up to surgery day. I kept thinking how she wouldn't be able to lead this full life and how she wouldn't be able to hold two of the triplets without batting an eye. I kept holding onto all the what ifs we let our brains latch on to. I kept turning my head away from her when she would talk about it all. Trying to avoid her asking for my opinion.

The week before her surgery I noticed I was doing that weird thing I do when I ignore the elephant in the room. I knew she needed to see me smile and tell her it would all be good. I wanted to believe it as much as she wanted to hear it and decided lunch would make it less awkward. We went to dee's, her favorite. She made me laugh for a solid hour and I saw this beautiful woman who I wasn't ready to see go, anywhere. This woman who raised me. This strong woman who I've only see cry three times in my whole life(I cried three times last week).  I knew in that moment- the surgery was the best answer. I was at peace with her decision and with the odds we were given. I was giving it to him- all of it. 

The night before surgery I made her take this selfie with me. 

She loves selfies so it was easy. She was cool and calm. I was full of fear and terror and she all but held my hand and said it was all gonna be okay. Or course she did. She was always in charge of our relationship and our big family- why would the next day be any different. 

The night was long, no one slept and at about 3:30 am, she told me she was at total peace and was fine with the plan. We left for the hospital at 4:30am. 

The day was long and we finally got to see her doctor about 2:30 and her at about 4:30. She was great. She looked good. I left the next day for a work meeting in college station then on to Waco to see my babies. My family stayed behind and did round the clock days/nights in the hospital. They were tired and weary but kept a constant flow of pics and good news coming our way. 

She came home this past Sunday and since then she has been recovering, sleeping, doing a little rehab exercising, eating well and loving on all of us. 

I can't wait to report in a few weeks that she is back to her old routine and requesting chicken salad and a dp. Thanks for all of your support of our family with the calls, texts, messages, meals, flowers and prayers. Those prayers carried us last week and they continue to cradle us each day and night.

She's a fighter and we are grateful to have been shown this path and to be where we are.

Oh, and Riggs is happy his Mema pat is home and they all can't believe kk has been gone so long!

Happy Tuesday, friends.

Beauty

I've felt overwhelmed lately with all of hope and promise in 2014. Everyone placing their goals and resolutions for the year on all forms of media and I can barely make plans for tomorrow. Weight loss, promise to be better, a promise to work harder or a promise to eat healthier. I want all that but I feel stuck on how everything seems overwhelming and what if I fail with such big promises?

I think with the illness in our family and my busy work schedule I feel overwhelmed and outnumbered when it comes to predicting positive and hopeful plans. Don't get me wrong, I love all of the fresh starts and feeling of a clean slate for the new year- I am just having trouble shouting a full on plan from the roof top. I'm not negative- I feel positive for our future just shaky on what road to take- when. 

Today we took the kids to build a bear and since we had a lax morning and got a late start- they were already tired by the time we left the house. Build a bear took an hour and then lunch took even longer. They were exhausted and so was I. I kept asking myself why did we even leave the house? Why don't I learn that we can't have lax mornings? Why didn't I plan better? And then I remembered- beauty in all things. God wants us to see beauty in all things. He wants us to have a renewed heart and selfishly, I've been wanting to just stay in 2013 without change or growth. Without necessarily stopping to see the beauty in all things. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11

11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

2 Corinthians 4:16

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

So today I think I will focus on just that. Beauty in all things. Finding beauty in the moments that don't feel or look beautiful and feeling grateful for these babies, the food on our table, the warm house we call our home and the family dinners we have with the people that we love. 

We have healthy two and a half year olds and a whole year to see the beauty in 2014. I will be choosing a beautiful thing to write about each month and will keep you all posted. I hope you are inspired to see beauty in our own lives. Even on the days that don't seem that beautiful... 

Here's to 2014, friends. Get your beauty on!

October to December

I think as moms we cram like 100 days into the final months of the year. You know, summer is leisure and easy and then all of a sudden Halloween hits and we are running around like maniacs on a hunt for some last dying wish and a schedule so packed-no one could conquer it. Party invites, holiday outfits to order for kids, gifts to buy, turkeys to stuff, school programs, school pictures, presents to buy, teacher gifts to make perfect, cookies to bake, parties to plan..... Can I take a breath? Please?!

So, my work event was on October 21st and then came several other work deadlines shortly after. Sick kids from week to week, a tube surgery for Riggs and about 59 work coffee or lunch dates to push 2014 into a perfect jumping spot, meals to juggle, transporting triplets all over the world and just generally surviving. And guilt, another nag I carry because I'm a working momma- yep it was in full red alert too. I hate it. Yep, I was in that year end mad dash. 

I survived thanksgiving and felt like ok, this won't be bad we are almost there... We purchased all of the gifts and we weren't entirely broke so I thought- yep we are doing this well- and then- on Christmas Eve- it happened. I had 102 and felt like I could die. Yep. Perfect timing. Isn't that the way it goes? I called the doctor and they called in some meds but by the time it reached the pharmacy they closed. Awesome. This was going to suck. But by gosh, my kids would never know. 

So on Christmas morning there I was. Medicated to the max and dying. I kept it together because this was the first year these littles knew the meaning of Christmas. They would talk about Jesus and they would want to roll play the entire Christmas story. This momma had to feel better, fast. The wisemen were in high demand. 

On Christmas night I made dinner for our entire family with the help of whit and alissa. I wanted to collapse but had promised Mema several weeks before that I would take it on this year. The second the kids were in bed I literally melted into mine. My throat hurt, my eyes hurt and my head was boiling. I kept thinking about all the prior months/days and how I push myself too hard. We all do. 

The day after Christmas I was at the doctors office at 11 am. He looked at me and said, " I know what you have." I knew he thought the flu and I knew he was wrong. As we talked he looked at my throat and it was evident that it was tonsillitis and a severe sinus infection. I was using a box of Kleenex every hour. I never ran out of snot. 

I walked out with two shots and three meds and was told to return for two more shots over the next two days. I went through the motions of kids, meals and bed and don't really remember a whole lot. Today was my final shot and l still feel about 30%. This has been a doozie.

But even with all that. I got to do some of my favorite things this week/season and here they are:

Candlelight service with my babies

Holding one singing silent night

Christmas Eve at Mema pats which included our traditional menu complete with chicken salad and pimento cheese finger sandwiches 

Telling our three about baby Jesus every single night in December with their nativity scene

The zoo on a day with sunshine and 60's

Bathe my babies

Take a nap

Eat soup

Mailed 146 Christmas cards

Give gifts

Eat donuts

Make dinner for a group

Eat donuts at the park 

Have girls nights

Girls movie days

Take naps

Eat pie

Visitors from out of town 

Let my kids stay up late

Eat ice cream

Eat bruschetta on a casual night 

Watch movies on my couch 

Color with gg

Playdoh with gg

Tickle Riggs

Chase Becker

Talk to whit about Christmas and the kids reaction

Talk about "next year"

Make plans for seaside

Eat Mexican food with my dad at a local place

Watch Mema pat with my three

It was good y'all. Even sick, it was good.

 

I hope yours was your kinda perfect.